of eels and frogs

and the ghost of the eel comes confronting me

eel: why?!?! i'm so innocent!!!

ernie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!! I'M FORCED TO DO IT!!!!!

eel: WHY WHY WHY!??

ernie: we'r really forced to do it!! we have no choice!!! killing LIVE frogs and eels are part of the Combat Survival Training that we'r goin through!! argh u think i really wanna do it?? the first time i saw the demostration i nua diao and almost fainted man.. then my fren weixin's face became pale and he also almost fainted. ahhaXx. i felt like i was in Fear Factor.

eel: then why did u choose me to kill?!?!

ernie: we had to b in groups of 4, then each group had to kill 2 live frogs and 2 eels!! but hey at least ur death was instant ok..... i juz had to catch u, put u on the table and chop off ur head. but killing the frog, u have to hold on to the legs and ur thumb put at the private part of the frog. u noe how painful the frog is?!?! and the worst thing is u kill the frog by banging it's head on the table wif big force until the frog's tongue comes out.

*a ghost of frog comes along.

frog: do u noe how painful i was?!?! especially i was the frog dat weixin killed.. u noe how soft he banged my head??!!?! i was hoping for one hit death but he hit my head so many times and i haven died!!! i was so tortured by him!!! argh!! and whenever frogs die we'll give out a soft 'quak' sound. sounds so cute. hahaXx. and after dat he had to SKIN MI!!!!! arh!! good thing i was dead.. the blade cut thru my skin and pull my body out of my skin and remove my intestines and internal organs by twisting my head and pulling the organs out of my body. how sick is dat!!

ernie: oopz sorri. dat's y i din wanna kill a frog coz too troublesome. and somemore the frog will still move after it died. yuck..

eel: oh i din noe dat. i'm also curious...will i still move after u chopped off my head?

ernie: u were so active when u were alive la!!!!! when i took u from the tank of eels i placed u on the table u were like moving around like snake and my instructors had to teach mi how to control u by covering ur head and blocking your way. but u were sooo active i was sooooo scared u will bite mi. my hands and legs were shivering all the way then u slit out of my hands and to the ground. u were so slippery and u slide on the ground like a snake. ahhaXx heng my instructor managed to catch u and i did a one chop at the head and u died. but thennnnnnnnn YOUR HEART WAS STILL PUMPING!!!!! YUCKKKKKKKKK MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! U IMAGINE URSELF STILL MOVING AFTER U ENDED UP IN 2 PIECES!!! AND HEAD TWISTING HERE AND THERE!!!! WAH LAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

eel: oops. i was trying to escape.. but too bad.

frog: oh i heard one of my frog frens managed to escape because your fren put him on the table and he hopped away. wad a lucky frog.

ernie: yupz. it jumped away damn fast man. but anyway i removed the eel's intestines i couldn't bring myself to remove the other organs like the still-active heart so i chopped it off. and my hand were like stained with blood.... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUU. then i told myself i'm never gonna become a housewife or a chef.

eel: chef? so did u cook mi and frog well?

ernie: wow i think we started the fire quite well... it was okay la coz andrew brought seasoning.. then we started to cook frogs and eels, although taste bland but it's super fresh. ahahXx. i din eat much coz no appetite after killing. argh. c already wanna puke. and dat was our lunch man. argh.

eel: what else u all learnt?

ernie: orh we learnt how to build tentage, fires, traps for iguanas.. coz we had to catch the iguana then skin them.. so my fren suggested skinning them and use the skin to make handbags..... -_-" then everyone will book out carrying one LV iguana skin handbag. -_-""".

eel: erm.....

ernie: orh anyway during the cooking my fren received an SMS having quite farnie jokes.. it's about some primary school kids making 造句s. damn farnie...

如果- 可乐的营养不如果汁的好.
天真- 今天真热.
便当- 小明把大便当成是泥土.

and the ultimate.......
绵被- 小红的卫生绵被人偷了.

eel and frog: hahahahaXx..-quak- hahaXx...

ernie: anyway it was quite an experience and i dun wana experience it again man. i still had goosebumps now lo....argh.... felt so SINFUL. arghhhhhh. and hands will have the fishy smell so smelly!!!!! but i'm really sorry for u two.

eel and frog: it's okay we understand so good luck wif ur CST training! bye!

*ghost of eel and frog exits.

ernie: *phew*