Gundam...

After 8 years in the box I finally took out and plan to complete my gundam set. Cutting pieces, shaving off the sides, spray painting and assembling. My room is filled with the smell of spray paint.

It was pretty fun nevertheless, kinda reminded me of my childhood. There are a lot of traits to be learnt from building model kits. Patience, focus, determination and a little perfection and pride. I just love how things come together to form this whole model kit.

I needed to get out of the house so I went to Bishan to fetch Domi at night, then Ben texted me asking me to go drink -_- but it was too late.

Sunday was gym day, and I continued my gundam building. Now it's half built, another 2 days it will be complete. 

 

And I have another 2 waiting for me......

restless

The past week at work had left me very bored and restless. My colleagues as well. There's only so much to do at work and so much you can do after you finish everything.

I'm still drowning in my lonely sorrows, thinking about life and everything after what happened last week. Shawn really made an impact on me. Sometimes I wished that I did not meet him at all, he's just at the edge of my mind all the time. Even when I'm at the library and shopping at Bras Basah for my gundam stuff today, I will check on him once in a while omg. Ok that's creepy and stalkerish.

I need to accept the fact that we are probably never going to see each other again.

Shawn

How you treat other people tells a lot about your upbringing, and how your parents/friends had influenced you.

That night chatting with Shawn had me thinking quite a bit about life and stuff. He definitely is an interesting figure with an extraordinary family background, but most people with his background would not have his humbleness or kindness or maturity, which is totally refreshing and totally surprised me. I mean I have encountered really spoilt brats (esp single child) who think they are real life princes/princesses. Shawn really left me a strong first impression.

People tend to be nicer to others when they know others are above them and look down on those below them - in general terms, but they don't understand the pain that they have as well. It's equal. People seemed to see or show only the good side of things but tend to ignore the rest.

May Saturday

In the afternoon the family gathered to celebrate Caleb's one year birthday but we didn't see much of him, there were lotsa food and Cyrus was sticking to me because I was playing this train thing with him haha.

Then I met Ryan for dinner and was exchanging tips on his travels to Europe - Munich, Austria, Vienna, Budapest and Stockholm. I might do the same for my core leave this year but I need to find a good time. Anyway he bought this Stockholm gin which I've never tasted before - it was good at the start but a bit messy at the end. It has elderflower.

I met Shawn at his place after. He comes from an extraordinary family and his life is not as normal as the typical local. People who were uprooted since young are generally more mature and more open minded. I had a good time with him - and him talking about his dad, his life and stuff. I feel like I really clicked with him but I'm not sure if he feels the same way, although our lives are significantly different. 

It is very hard to maintain long term friendship or relationship when you have no idea where you are going next, and it's a vicious cycle - you tend to want to go to a new place to start afresh but in the end you would want to come back. So your friendship are sometimes superficial. Something happened to Domi yesterday and he confined in me and he also wished that some of his friends loved or cared for him, but they only knew each other for a few months - it's not concrete. 

In the end, your relationships become neither here nor there. I knew so much about Shawn in a day. 

As I walk along, this phrase that I saw somewhere resonate with me: we are truly alone. 

When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool

Acceptance week

I finally opened that email after Tao forced me.

For 5 days I have been procrastinating to open that email that I received from LSE regarding my application to Msc Data Science. It was definitely the results of my application. I was afraid in a way because it decides my path this year and my career in the future, and I always had this empty feeling. Somehow I could always feel the results - the half-hearted feeling.

I didn't get it. It's highly competitive last year 600+ applications but only 50 got it. That's 8%.

I had a good personal statement, vetted and confirmed by various experts, I had 2 good referrals, good resume and university transcript. I probably lose out on the experience part. Overall, I had already done my best and this is the shot I've got. It's fine.

Friends had been asking me to try another school or try again but I'm just lazy to do GMAT, or I don't want other options. Yea if I really want I could go local unis but I want to study abroad.

I think I have no fate with staying in London long term. I will go there for holiday this summer.

Endgame

The first day tickets were released online I didn't wait for anything. I just booked the nearest best cinema with the best timing. 3 hours and 2 minutes. After one week I'm still brooding and being emo about it.

I really can't believe they are going to stop making movies on my favourite characters. And I really really love the Captain America movies and Chris Evans playing him! These people have been such a big part of my life and inspiration and I have been looking forward to the next Marvel movie every time.

So about this movie, I can't express or write more than the articles in the internet, but 11 years and 22 movies - one cinematic universe and leading to this final movie? It's really incredible, really all thanks to Stan Lee and Kevin Feige and Disney for buying over Marvel so Marvel Studios has all the budget to make these movies.

Nobody had thought of this concept before, and it would be ridiculous when somebody watches just Endgame alone without knowledge of other Marvel movies, like who's this talking racoon and who's this glowing blonde girl and who's this purple alien LOL.

After this movie, my favourite character is Captain America now. He's total worthy.