olgh

I was running today and I really felt my body getting rusty by the year. I used to be able to do 5km without breaking a sweat when I was 21-24. I can't imagine doing 5km now haha or maybe I should try it someday.

Working is increasingly heavier and I'm increasingly getting unhappy with what I'm doing now. Salary is not getting higher. The motivation is no longer there anymore. But well, nobody's happy working in a bank, except if they are earning loads. In such times I guess I would have to make do and tide over.

I'm trying to find back the drive and the emotional state I had when I was in school or Shanghai. I can't find any of it. I don't know anything now.

I wouldn't imagine the things I would be thinking or doing right now 1 or 2 years ago.
I can't even imagine me enjoying being a bell.
Sometimes I think I'm too unstable now.
Maybe I need a solo trip again.