Your Friendly Neighbourhood

ok this started after i watched new moon, which i tot was quite a lousy movie until i watched it a second time then i felt it was okay.

then i got to know this guy taylor lautner who's jacob black.

i just can't believe he's only 17 years old, and he's the hottest guy in hollywood and everybody just wants him,
he's been on like almost every magazine cover.. rolling stones.. teen vougue... mens health...
and he's onli like 17!! and he has this perfect life that i've been wishing to pursue but i just can't.

17, millionaire and counting, hot bod, drives a audi R8 and everybody loves him.
he's like so mature, down to earth, no airs at all kind, and he acted in twilight when he's 16!!
imagine 16 yo and earning millions already. and he also works very hard for the movie.

and where were we at 16, 17 yo?! in first 3 months NJC playing stupid orientation games and struggling in school.
i mean what a lousy life we had as compared to him and we aint getting anything out of life yet.

and now where are we? going to be 23 and still struggling with life and school and everything, while he had it all already. the perfect life and the biggest potential in movies biz. in fact he dun need to work for the rest of his life already.

then i traced back all his past. he also attended school at michigan when he's young and often flies out to LA for auditions and stuff, and then his family decide to move to LA coz he wanted to go into acting and its is more convenient for him to go for auditions in LA. then he got this role of twilight and then he got famous.

and he got more famous when he worked out for like 1 year to get into shape in new moon and booms, no. 1 international superstar instantly because of new moon

it feels to me that everybody can do or become the same thing, just that we dun haf the capacity to do it.

firstly is the money. after filming twilight i guess he got loads on money so he can hire a personal trainer to train him and control his diet. he has to eat like every 2 hrs, stuff like meat patties, almonds, sweet potatoes, and protein shakes.
i think all these will cost like 100k a year, which we do not even have.
like i've been also traning hard to lose fats and gain muscles kinda stuff, but i just dun haf the capacity to reach his level.

secondly is the time. look at us. we are like what? studying and studying just to get a cert while he works out to get even more money than us. and he dun need to do much and earn more than us. and he has the motivation to do that. unlike us.

thirdly we dun live in america, or LA.
we are stuck in this small island where there is practically no market.
true, we are small and secure, unlike US which is so dangerous and all, and we do not have families who supports us by moving into LA.

then i come to ask.
why are we different?
why are we born to have different capacity?
who or what controls our destiny?
why dont we get born in US or into his family?
why are we not even close to living his life?

as a human, i suppose he's no different from me, except for looks. he's also not tall like really tall, just 4cm taller than me, and we'r both aquarius.
aquarians are known to be versatile, have one of the best personalities and good potential to be in showbiz.

and then there's this moment of time i kept asking why can't i sleep tonight... and wake up to become taylor lautner in the morning.
ya i know it sounds stupid, i just dun understand why we'r born and set on this course of life.

i dunno if u believe in past life, but i think i lived in US for my past life so thats why i feel a strong attraction to US. sometimes i can't wait to know what holds for me in my next life, i feel that it'll be at least better than now, but ya i wun do anything stupid like kill myself or what la.

like what i said in my blog, i really lost my sense of direction, i dunno what i'm fighting for in life anymore. and whenever i think of taylor's life, i kept thinking why am i such a loser and still stuck here torturing myself. could i have more to fulfill my dream and my own perfect life and simply do what i love to do like him?

mayb i sorta lost my aim in life after the exams and start thinking about such things when i'm nua-ing and doing simply nothing at home but rot... while taylor's earning big bucks every hour.