crashed

I just don't know what to say. After hearing what leeping told me about retard face getting called back to the company, the whole world crashed on me. Flat on the face. Its not the first I have heard. They called bird face back too. So should I feel sad or pissed?

I haven't been really depressed or sad or emo this semester because I was enjoying school life that I have forgotten what it feels like to be so demoralized.
Pissed because there are more capable and more deserving people out there who wants it more than them. Some people just gets things so easily while others who wants it more just needs to work even harder.

I haven't been doubtful of my abilities till now because there is only one ultimate goal after these 4 years: To get a good paying job.

So if other people can get it so easily without even trying, why work so hard for 2nd upper? why minor in business? why part time in banks?

What else do I need to do to prove my capability? Am I not capable enough? or am I over-confident? Did I over estimate myself? Am I doing things the wrong way?

I'm not going to say life isn't fair because it is like a kid just pure whining and not doing anything. I'm also not going to say anything bad about them because there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just not convinced that they should be there instead of me. Entirely, it is about me, not them.
But I believe in the principle of equivalent trade. Maybe its something that I use to comfort myself but it is the way of life. You gain something but you also lose something of equivalent value in a way or another.

The bright side is, at least I don't get to see their fface. But LP said I shouldn't discount myself because of them.

I will walk patiently and find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Reflect and reform. I hope optimism works.